Dating a recovering alchoholic
“All relationships are difficult—that’s just a fact,” she says.
“But if the sober couple uses the tools of the 12 steps and applies them to their relationship, they can find themselves in a better partnership than most.
Without their addiction-given powers of denial, delusion and intoxication, people like Eddie find they're like a socially inept 16-year old in the body of a 32-year-old- man.
And second, it’s much easier to date someone who speaks the same language.” Bryan thinks about it for a second before adding, “Some will say it’s two mentally ill people going out with each other, but I think many of us that are sober can work through our disease in order to have a healthy relationship.” According to Melody Anderson, a family and addiction expert in Los Angeles, if both parties are working a solid program of recovery, they can have even better chances than non-alcoholics of a successful partnership.
Don't forget the Big Book came from the experiences of the first 100, most of whom were men. Bob's biography, he recounts a crisis when one of AA's first women and a male member were found in "the act" on his office exam table!
BILL: You know, Dave, I sometimes study the Big Book online.
Punch line: They move in together before it's over.
But not all sober relationships are of the shotgun nature; for many who find love on the AA campus, sober relationships can mirror the rest of world—meaning they’re hard, scary, and (usually) worth the effort.